• A year in the MERDE - Paul west arrives in Paris to start a job and finds out what the French are really like. They do eat a lot of cheese, some of which smells like pigs' droppings. They don't wash their armpits with garlic soap. Going on strike really is the second national participation sport after pétanque. And, yes they do use suppositories. Less quant than A year in Provence, less chocolatey than Chocolat, A Year in the merde tells you how to get served by the grumpiest Parisian waiter; how to make amour - not war; and how not to buy a house in the French countryside. *** 'Edgier than Bryson, hits harder than Mayle' The Times *** 'Must-have comedy-of-errors diary about being a Brit abroad' Mirror
  
  
• MERDE actually - A year after arriving in France, Englishman Paul West is still struggling with some fundamental questions: What is the best way to scare a gendarme? Why are there no health warnings on French nudist beaches? And is it really polite to sleep with your boss's mistress. Paul opens his English tea room , and mutates (temporarily) into a Parisian waiter; samples the pleasures of typically French hotel-room afternoons; and, on a return visit to the UK, sees the full horror of a British office party through Parisian eyes. Meanwhile he continues his search for the perfect French mademoiselle. But will Paul find l'amour éternel, or will it all end up in merde? MERDE ACTUALLY - In this second comedy of errors, Paul West continues to sabotage the entente cordiale.
  
  

• talk to the SNAIL - Ten commandments for Understanding the French. Don't go to France without reading this book! The only book you'll need to understand what the French really think, how to get on with them and, most importantly, how to get the best out of them.With useful sections on: Making sure you get served in a café; Harassing French estate agents; Living with bacteria; Pronouncing French swear-words; Surviving the French driving experience; Falling in amour, Paris style; and beaucoup, beaucoup more!

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